Child-bearing hips. What nonsense! The majority of women can bear children whether their bone structure is XS or XL. ‘Bearing’ children involves way more anatomy than bones, and a shitload of patience. I prefer the name ‘baby cage’ for the whole pelvic structure… which is very entertaining to Google because baby cages were an acceptable thing in the 1930’s (see above). Bob Irwin would have been right at home.
Anyway, this post is about having babies and hips (baby cages)…
My old housemate Wade bet that I’d be pregnant within two years shortly after I met Ken in January 2016. I vehemently deny this will happen – and by the way Wade, I WILL WIN. But having babies was the factor that tipped me into deciding to have a hip replacement.
Y’see, I’m 80% certain I could manage the pain for another 12 months if I chose to. I’ve made a lot of adjustments to get this far, physical and mental. Pain is a complex thing but I strongly believe in the power of the mind to minimise it. I can sit cross-legged for 20-30 minutes whilst meditating and get up with minimal stiffness – but I can’t sit watching TV for that long, or at my work desk. Go figure.
A discussion with my GP made me consider things from a more pragmatic perspective. I explained my hesitation about becoming a parent and continuing to manage the pain…
Many of my friends have had babies in the last year – we’re that age. My social media feeds are full of cute babies next to “I’m x months today” signs and the ever-creative pregnancy announcement pics. I worked at Ngala (a parenting organisation) for two years and that was a bloody good contraceptive! I know of the immense sleep deprivation, the social isolation, the discomfort of feeling the size of a house, the frustration of wanting to ‘get your body back’ – and frankly, I don’t want to go through that being in pain when I could choose to not be in pain.
As you can imagine, this whole baby thing launched a few heavy conversations between Ken and I. We had already talked about kids in a vague sometime-in-the-next-few-years ways prior to my diagnosis – now it’s a much clearer reality. We can’t really afford to be vague anymore.
For example, to gain the average 11-16kg would put a huge strain on my hip. Add in the relaxin released during pregnancy, resulting in increased joint elasticity and wear, and my hip would be SHOT.
People say it takes a year for a new replacement joint to feel like your own. Imagine giving birth to a baby out of a baby cage that didn’t really feel like your own?! Weird. So fast forward 12 months and I’ll be 33 before we’d even start trying for a baby, and creeping ever closer to the fertility-falls-off-the-cliff age of 35 (ONLY JOKING, but seriously, I’m thinking risk-reduction here).
It’s ironic to think that something most people get in their 60’s and 70’s could postpone me from having children at 32. It also sucks because my private health insurance doesn’t cover joint replacement (again, not something most 32 year olds need) but I was given the option to include pregnancy when I switched to Medibank in August last year… which I chose not to, given we have a fantastic public health system here in WA.
So it’s another phone call to the surgeon’s office tomorrow to find out what the options are; public admission, forking out $$$$ for private admission (without PHI cover) or perhaps some way around the obligatory 12-month waiting period.
Let’s see how we go.